Thanks in large part to a bold Cowboys pick (and here we are talking football and not their his and hers Halloween outfits), Chris and Clarke captured the coveted week 4 title. While said Cowboys pick has resulted in the unfortunate revoking of their license to live in the DC-Baltimore metro area and general shunning by its good populace, I am sure it was worth it.
We wish C & C all the best with their new lives in the greater Dallas-Ft Worth environs.
-the commish
Results…
Now that Zane’s rather desperate “must be present to win” motion has been officially dismissed, Kris can be declared the week 3 winner. And while anyone familiar with the last four years of her dating life would have long ago announced her a big winner, Kris furthered that reputation with an impressive 12 win week, besting Pop and Zane by 4 victories each.
Zane and Kris are locked in battle atop the overall percentage standings at 51% each (which ironically was also the average score on the recent grammar pre-test in Zane’s English class). To set a good example, I will no longer use prepositions to start or end sentences. I’m giving it up. Sentence fragments too.
The commish–
If issues of child and domestic abuse were not enough, now a new accusation has emerged regarding a blatant misuse of referee power in Monday’s night pivotal game. Apparently inspired by the series of commercials where bartenders hack into sprinkler and fan systems to prolong the length of games so as to sell more wings and beer (and allow their patrons to prolong the reversion to their quietly desperate post NFL game existences), a local Buffalo Wild Wings owner apparently paid off a referee in Monday’s night game in exchange for the rare but ever coveted Honey Golden Wings of Wonder Card which grants the bearer free wings for life. This certainly explains the phantom horse collar penalty against the Colts and the overlooking of Eagles pass interference on the late interception of Andrew Luck that together ensured the Eagles victory.
Desperate attempts to link this misconduct to Week 2 (and as he’ll tell you, also Week 1) winner, Zane Pennella, have thus far proved fruitless. But this week’s runner-up (and would be winner had the Colts not got rooked), Pop, has got TMZ on the case, so stay tuned.
Here are your results:
Zane has 8. Pop has 7. Others have less. Some have much less.
So here is the scoop…
If Colts win AND combined score is 51 or more, Pop wins.
If Eagles win OR Colts win but combined score is 50 or less, Zane wins, and modesty is dealt yet another blow.
And if four teams are forced to vacate their wins this week because of TMZ documented player misconduct, than C & C, we can talk.
thx!
the commish
As no one won more than six games last week, to declare anyone a “winner” is rather generous and hence the calculated delay in reporting results. That said, Zane did eek out a win over Pop thanks to the tiebreaker. Congrats to Zane for sucking the least.
This is where I should tap into my coaching bag of motivational aids and reassure you all that you are winners in the grander game of life. Alas, tonight, the best I can summon is this:
PS, Claire, DNP does not in fact mean “damn near perfect” (regardless of how your mother may build you up), but rather,”did not play”.
Let us hope this week produces more inspiring results.